I hate this

I sent a demo tape and some writing samples to an agency. This is it. No turning back. This is the time in my life where I'll find out if I'm worth all of the delusions in my head. Are they throwing my demo tape against the wall? Are they laughing at my scripts! Did I mention I hate this? I love what I do, I can't stand the fact that my out of control ego is such a big easy target. I'm going to throw up now. I need to hear from these people and I need to hear that they love it, and I need to hear that I have a deal and I need to chill and not work for a while! GRRRRR! Where's that bell tower?

Been a while....

Film's off for now, just a short break until I pull it back together. Hammering away on scripts and getting things in order. Been making contacts with agents and agencies(big difference, agencies are nicer but harder to reach, agents call you back but are for the most part at the same level I am, so it doesn't exactly work out well). Anyway, getting an X Ray done tomorrow on my neck, getting a lump checked, which, the doctor said is only a cyst, which they all say..just kidding, I'm sure it's nothing...I'm also doing blood work for the yearly check up and so far every thing's in the clear exact for my fatness which must be reduced at a high level, doctor's orders, and believe me, for once I agree. That's it for now. See ya in two days.

....8....9....10....

I'm down for the f-ing count! Been sick for four days! WTF!!!!?!?!?! That's what I get. Now I'm going to chill for a few days. Film's moving on and I'm hammering out some plans to run by Bill for his story idea. Don't want to say it here. Don't know who's reading, who isn't and who might rip it off, 'cause it's all gooooood. I'm going to go into full swing with pre production in the middle of the week and get this mother f-er shot. Thankfully it's not all consuming. It's actually not taking any time up at all. It's been pretty easy. The hardest part's done. I could see the film demanding at the most five or six days of my time from this point on so I know it'll all work out. Trying to figure out how to push The Tanner Troop Reunion, of course, I can't even count to ten right now, but this is the shit that keeps me going so I gotta keep thinking about it, keep breathing it in. It's the only way I can live. I've sent out some emails to those who are related to writers or might know some one. No answers yet. I'm entertaining the thought of running something by one more person I've been a little hesitant to approach. And of course my first contact has offered to give more digits. I'll keep researching and asking around, I know this script'll end up in the right hands. At least hands that'll hand out some good money to Bill and I. Got a nice raise, but, I still have to keep pushing for what I really want to do. Word. PS-Don't see that horrible film about the fourth plane that crashed on September 11. Boycott it. It's disgusting. I know, I haven't seen it, and I'm sure it's gripping, and emotional, but so is sitting on a thumb tac, and I'm not doing that any time soon either. I'm not one for censorship. In fact, one of my favorite films is one of the most hated films on the planet (Irreversible). But, this is a huge exception. This film and World Trade Center coming out in September of all months has to be stopped. We gotta send a message that these films can't, and won't make their money back! Nuff said. I'll write more that once a month, espcially with what ever drama will turn it's ugly craw in the next month. Keep on keepin' on.

Rollin' rollin' rollin'

Jen and I had lunch today and solidified all the dates and the rest of the casting for the film. There are some quirky moments in the script that I'm hoping the cast and editing will smooth out. The general rule of thumb is you can't save a film in the editing room, so, I'm looking forward to see what sort of 700 pound gorrilla I'll be dealing with once everything's shot. I'm hoping it'll look and feel completely different than what I'm hoping for. Bill sent me a story a couple of weeks ago that I'd love to shoot, but, it's not published so I can't go into details here. It's smoking hot though, so I'm hoping to get an investor interested. Came to work a bit early to get some Emmy entries solidified with some people I'm going into the competition with. So much, and so little time. The whole sound and fury signifying nothing gobblygook. Back to the grind. My weekend's coming up(Tuesday and Wednesday). I plan to get nothing done for once.

Three Days and counting....

Getting ready for the first scene of the film. It'll be a very short flash back scene that'll take up about 15 seconds of film but it's the incident that glues the whole story together. I'm not putting too much effort into the look of it as I'm going to do alot of enhancing in the edit room. It won't take too long, about an hour tops and should go by with out any effort. The other shoots are fairly massive and will take alot of work but the actors seem to be studying and doing alot of prep work. I'm a little concerned that alot of questions aren't being thrown at me by the cast but I'll simply take that as a good thing since alot of films are slowed down by too much gabbing, which I hate. I could sit around and talk about films I want to shoot for the rest of my life, or I can just go out and do it.
I'm prepping some Emmy entries as well as working out some mixes of old songs I've worked on. I'm also getting ready to submit some music to a song writing contest.
Still chasing leads and trying to tie up some loose ends. Things are good. I'm eating too much and need sleep, but other than that, every thing's on an even keel. NOT!

Vending machine

Oh, vending machine, why do you mock me? In a world that's gone to shit, on a Friday, which is my Tuesday, becuase I'm a shmuck and I can't seem to get a deal where I work Monday through Friday, though others who sit around and read all day and do crossword puzzles seem to get the great shifts....any way...back to you, vending machine, route of all evil. I give you two dollars, and you decide to take ten minutes to give me the drink I want. I'm sluggish, I need the energy drink. I'm tired, and trying to stay away from cigarettes, so I need the drink. I don't want to drink booze, so I give you two dollars for an energy drink. So what do you do? Like a dumb teenager working the counter in a slow food restaurant, like so many people who don't give a shit about their job and would rather take their sweet, under educated un worthy time, you jam up and decided to take five when I need you the most. And then, after I've slammed you six of seven times with my left and right hook, and a kick to your bullet proof glass, the beverage drops to the bottom, and is ready for the taking. I grab the drink, compose myself, and continue on with my day, hoping against all hope that I get through it with out becoming a headline.

Terrorists

I thwarted a terrorist plot today. Not really, nothing happened, thought I'd embellish.